Back to Work

After 78 days maternity leave + 5 days vacation leave, I had to take one painful step again - leaving my babies at home with their nannies.

Last night, I had a heart to heart talk with my son, Kenzo. I told him how sorry I am to not be able to wake up with him every morning (because he wakes up at 9am and I should be out of the house by 8am). That I feel bad not to be able to personally feed him his favorate foods. That I can't watch TV with him. Can't nap with him. That in a week, I only have all evenings and 2 full days to offer him.

He was listening very quietly. I think he understands that momma has to work to help pappa give him and Irish a better life in the future.

I also told him to watch over his baby sister.

This morning, I could'nt leave home just like that. I know I got no more reasons to be late for work but I took the risk. I waited for Kenzo to wake up. And when he saw me dressed up for work, he just smiled at me. When I stepped out of the door, I waited a little. He was just looking at me calmly. No tantrums, no loud cries. At the gate, I was almost teary eyed. How come my son has adjusted to the situation right away?

I think it is me who needed to face reality.

It really is hard to be a working mom. If only I can be sure of the future here in our country, I wouldn't mind being a SAHM.