My Heart Speaks

What if I Ain’t a Mom Yet?

1. I could have been to many different places especially with all those tempting package tours available now.
2. I could have been a lawyer or a nurse.
3. Most likely a shopaholic of the best brands available in town.
4. Can Gimik anywhere at anytime with friends.
5. Could have resigned from my work and could have enriched my career.
6. Can get trendy hairstyles from famous hair dressers
7. Can buy the latest gadgets anytime.
8. Can get all the sleep that I want.
9. Can eat lunch and dinner out everyday.
10. See a movie twice a day.

It’s my random list of the top 10 things occupying my mind at this moment right here in my workplace. And though it gives me a sense of satisfaction to have lived that life some 3 years ago, I still have no regrets. I am realizing now, that I cannot replace the fulfillment I get from being a mom to my kids from my once very carefree life.

My realizations:

1. I have not traveled a lot because I will miss playing, singing, talking with my kids and reading them books at bed time. I could not take them to places as well because they are too young to enjoy traveling. I have to plan the family travels when they are both fully potty trained and bottle-free and are able to appreciate places. Otherwise, I could just imagine how tiring it would be to fill up our luggage. And if hubby and I would insist, our kids would just be left behind with their nannies overnight. And I can’t let that happen.
2. If I went back to law school, then maybe I could have forgotten about becoming a mom. If I pursued nursing, then maybe I could have left the country years ago and have not bore a child to this time.
3. I wouldn’t have appreciated tiangges/bazaars, buying on sale, haggling for costs.
4. It feels wonderful to be home at night times especially with the kids sharing stories of how they spent another day. And then in bed, you’d feel them lay their heads on your arm and be their biggest comfort in their sleep.
5. My job is very humbling but the reason I never turned my back on it is because my family time is very much respected. I can be away even with a short notice only and I can have all my time for my family.
6. I found out I don’t need to go try all the newest in hair trends. I am still beautiful (my son says so) with my hair whatsoever. Confidence comes from within. And for my hair, shampooing and conditioning is more than enough to keep it silky and shiny J
7. All I can say is, OMG! I hear about iphones but how does it differ from Samsung as shown in TV anyway. After I’ve lost 3 phones last year, I only have 3310 with me anywhere. Who cares to rob me now? I feel safe with it anyway. Hubby so admires me for this. I appreciate that he keeps offering me a better cellphone but I keep telling him to not worry about it, he can just give me the money and I can use it for our family needs.
8. More bedtime bonding moments with kids. Enough sleep is also my secret to younger looking skin ehem.
9. Dinner and lunch outs were not as much as before because I always think of how the money spent in one particular dining can give us more options for family weekend bonding activities. And I get to show off not just practice my cooking skills.
10. Ouch! To see a movie nowadays is too expensive. We just try to watch once in a while and this are for the choices we think are great when seen in the big screen.

My life has changed as I became a mother. My wishes now are not of the things that will help me get back my old life. It’s all for my kids now because I want them to grow experiencing good life. And to see them happy and living in comfort everyday is what makes me fulfilled now. I will never be a lawyer, not even sure if I can still be a nurse. But I will always be a mother to Kenzo and Arisha and a supportive wife to Art. I am looking forward to what will happen next in my life. One thing remains, I am never leaving my family behind.