I Am His Wife

I've been too hard on hubby the past few days. I really don't know why I feel so upset about him. He did nothing wrong. He picks me up at work every night despite so. I can feel how he's been trying to reach out and how he'd get me to mellow down a bit. I am just so irritated really and I hate to admit I blame things on him just because. And for so many days now, we haven't really talked about us. We do talk but we don't talk like we're married. We don't talk like we're in love.

I read somewhere else that the good thing about marriage is that in the process, you tend to fall out of love then fall in love again with the person you married.

Am I in the process of falling out of love? Does he feel the same? Why have I been having thoughts on What if I was not married to him? Will I be happier? What if I ended up with someone from the past? Will I be happier? What if I ended up with someone I met along the way, Will I be missing Art?

Today, I have the answers to my questions. I still love my hubby and I still feel that I made the right choice when I chose to be married to him. I still find comfort in the thought that he is the person I will be spending my whole life with. I still choose not to trade the life I have with him now with someone else' life. I will miss him badly if I don't see him. I am still lucky I have a husband who stands by me even when I feel not like holding onto marriage. I know I am blessed for God gave me a husband who is a family man. And though these days we were not really 'talking', I still believe my husband is just giving me some time alone because I believe he thinks it's the best he can do now just so I won't give up on him.

I have to remind myself, we've been together since 16, we're married now for almost 5 years, we have 2 adorable kids who are so happy and secured being with us, we are not getting any younger and life is too short.

As I wrote Life is too short, I suddenly felt scared. I still pray for long life together. I still want us to be together for many many more years.

My writing this blog was a pouring out at the same time a realization. The moment I wrote about my sentiments, all the negative energies came out of me. I am now feeling better. I am now at peace again.

As I end this entry, I look forward to better moments again with my hubby. I feel that unlike the past few days, I am excited now to pick up the phone when he calls me later cos I know he deserves to hear me talking as his wife again.

I want to be his wife, again.