Thinking of Home and Tito Dado

For the past 3 years, I can only count few trips made home to my province. Because my kids are too young for the 8 hours road trip, it was arranged that my mom and parents in-law would just do the favor of visiting us here in the city as often as they can.

But now, I am thinking of home because I haven’t seen my relatives for almost a year already. And I am afraid I will no longer be able to see my Tito Dado.

A brother and a sidekick then to my Dad, Tito Dado was the only one I regularly see at home. He was never married. He was already content spending his life with his family taking care of his nieces and nephews until all have grown up to have a family of their own. He now devotes his time taking care of his sick mother, my lola.

I never asked why he didn’t marry. I never saw him going on a steady relationship either. I don’t think he is gay. Maybe, the big family he grew up with has already overwhelmed him that much. He is happy go lucky, I can’t blame him he had all his time for himself. One thing I really liked about him was his laughing trips. He was undeniably very consistently cool.

But today, I received the news that he is in the ICU since Saturday and that he may no longer make it. My mom’s helpers have been saying my Tito has been talking about going to a fun party somewhere else and that this week will be the end of his sufferings. My mom says he no longer looked like the Tito Dado I saw before. He now looked just like my dad on his deathbed. And because my mom sees my Dad in him, she gets so affected that she’s been spending a lot of time in his bedside.

And it gave me chills. I am thinking now if I should go home to go see my Tito Dado before it’s too late. Or is it because I wanted to see how my Dad looked like when he was about to go. These are my weird thoughts now. I want to see my Tito Dado and I want to see my Dad.

I miss them both. My Dad and my Tito Dado.

This is the sad part of life. When we grow old enough to be able to do things on our own, we cut the line from the people who we’ve once been depending on. And though we appreciate how they took care of us, it makes them sad to feel their purpose has been served and they are no longer needed.

I want to go home. I want to personally thank my Tito for helping me become the doting mom that I am now. If I never felt loved then I wouldn’t know how to love this way in return.

Business Plans

Hubby and I are planning to put up our own business. We have the whole year to plan it out. We are setting our goal to launch our product in 2010.

I am excited. I hope this time it works out well.

At the moment, we still need to do a lot of research and consultations from the PROs.

Comment Ni Hubs (mi esposo)

Touched daw siya when he read "what my heart speaks..." My wishes are so simple and yet I could not have it all. He had to reflect daw tuloy for a while how he can make me happy again. Nagi-guilty daw siya.

Ang sabi ko naman, the fact na nagkaroon siya ng time basahin ang blog ko, masaya na ako. I never really expected him to drop by my site, anyway. (Hindi lang nagdrop by, nagbasa pa talaga)

Funny Quotes by Kenzo

Pag pinagagalitan ni yaya si Kenzo for hurting Arisha.

Kenzo: Go home to the province ate, go home now.

Yaya: I am sad. Ok, I will go home now.

Kenzo: Don't be sad, ate. I will follow, ok?

Pag pinalo sa kamay (kunwari, right hand)

Kenzo: Oh, how about my left hand?

Pag may gusto ipabili.

Kenzo: Give me your celphone ate.

Yaya: Why?

Kenzo: I need to text mama. I will tell her to buy toys.

kunwari text text naman daw sa cp....

Kenzo: Here, read it ate! It say's "buy toys...." Send it to mama's number ate.

Kagabi, we told him to stop hitting and bullying his sister. Instead, he should take care of her.

Kenzo: ok mama, i will not hurt Arisha. Stop getting mad at me too, ok? and don't hit me too. You take care of me, ok?

This morning bago ako umalis ng bahay

Mama: Kenzo, remember what I told you last night? don't hurt your sister, ok?

Kenzo: Ok mama.

And then I heard him say,

Kenzo: Ate, can I hit Arisha?

(hahahaha atleast nagpapaalam na bago manakit)

My Heart Speaks

What if I Ain’t a Mom Yet?

1. I could have been to many different places especially with all those tempting package tours available now.
2. I could have been a lawyer or a nurse.
3. Most likely a shopaholic of the best brands available in town.
4. Can Gimik anywhere at anytime with friends.
5. Could have resigned from my work and could have enriched my career.
6. Can get trendy hairstyles from famous hair dressers
7. Can buy the latest gadgets anytime.
8. Can get all the sleep that I want.
9. Can eat lunch and dinner out everyday.
10. See a movie twice a day.

It’s my random list of the top 10 things occupying my mind at this moment right here in my workplace. And though it gives me a sense of satisfaction to have lived that life some 3 years ago, I still have no regrets. I am realizing now, that I cannot replace the fulfillment I get from being a mom to my kids from my once very carefree life.

My realizations:

1. I have not traveled a lot because I will miss playing, singing, talking with my kids and reading them books at bed time. I could not take them to places as well because they are too young to enjoy traveling. I have to plan the family travels when they are both fully potty trained and bottle-free and are able to appreciate places. Otherwise, I could just imagine how tiring it would be to fill up our luggage. And if hubby and I would insist, our kids would just be left behind with their nannies overnight. And I can’t let that happen.
2. If I went back to law school, then maybe I could have forgotten about becoming a mom. If I pursued nursing, then maybe I could have left the country years ago and have not bore a child to this time.
3. I wouldn’t have appreciated tiangges/bazaars, buying on sale, haggling for costs.
4. It feels wonderful to be home at night times especially with the kids sharing stories of how they spent another day. And then in bed, you’d feel them lay their heads on your arm and be their biggest comfort in their sleep.
5. My job is very humbling but the reason I never turned my back on it is because my family time is very much respected. I can be away even with a short notice only and I can have all my time for my family.
6. I found out I don’t need to go try all the newest in hair trends. I am still beautiful (my son says so) with my hair whatsoever. Confidence comes from within. And for my hair, shampooing and conditioning is more than enough to keep it silky and shiny J
7. All I can say is, OMG! I hear about iphones but how does it differ from Samsung as shown in TV anyway. After I’ve lost 3 phones last year, I only have 3310 with me anywhere. Who cares to rob me now? I feel safe with it anyway. Hubby so admires me for this. I appreciate that he keeps offering me a better cellphone but I keep telling him to not worry about it, he can just give me the money and I can use it for our family needs.
8. More bedtime bonding moments with kids. Enough sleep is also my secret to younger looking skin ehem.
9. Dinner and lunch outs were not as much as before because I always think of how the money spent in one particular dining can give us more options for family weekend bonding activities. And I get to show off not just practice my cooking skills.
10. Ouch! To see a movie nowadays is too expensive. We just try to watch once in a while and this are for the choices we think are great when seen in the big screen.

My life has changed as I became a mother. My wishes now are not of the things that will help me get back my old life. It’s all for my kids now because I want them to grow experiencing good life. And to see them happy and living in comfort everyday is what makes me fulfilled now. I will never be a lawyer, not even sure if I can still be a nurse. But I will always be a mother to Kenzo and Arisha and a supportive wife to Art. I am looking forward to what will happen next in my life. One thing remains, I am never leaving my family behind.

Happy 3rd Bday, Kenzo

January 10, 2009


To my favorate Son (cos Arisha is my favorate daughter naman :-)), I am super happy, super fulfilled, super proud that you are my son. I super love you and I just can't think of living my life not having you. You (and Arisha) made my life complete. Being a mom to you and Arisha is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I vow to stay beside you, nurture you and dedicate my time to your growing years. Papa and I will stick with you through thick and thin. Walang iwanan. We will go anywhere together, we will never leave one behind.